Prayer—Consistency Matters More Than Method

"In a race all the runners compete, but only one receives the prize? So run that you may obtain it." (1 Cor. 9:24)

When I talk to Catholics about their spirituality, one of the most common complaints I hear is that they are unhappy with their prayer life. It is very rare for me to speak to someone who says, "Why yes, I am happy and fulfilled with my prayer life!" The vast majority of people express disappointment with the quality of their prayers. The complaints are legion—they don't know what to say, prayer feels dry or forced, they can't stay focused, they don't feel like it accomplishes anything, they are bored with the fixed prayers but don't feel eloquent enough for spontaneous prayer, they get tired, don't have time, haven't found a method they like, and so on. When it comes to prayer, nothing seems to be going right for them.

These are not inconsequential obstacles for those who del with them; for many they are a considerable cross that they are unsure how to deal with. Obstacles to prayer can be hard because prayer is so individualized. There many "methods" or "schools" of prayer, each with its own merits. People can flit about from method to method looking for something that feels right but without making any real progress.  In the end many people get left with the sense that they are just not good at prayer—or worse, that praying is a futile exercise, something they engage in half-heartedly from a sense of obligation because they know they are supposed to, but have ceased expecting any real fruit from it. 

I think it is helpful to go back to the Scriptures and see what divine revelation tells us about prayer. Scriptural directives on prayer can be frustrating because, while the Bible is chock-full of admonitions to pray, it gives us almost nothing on how to pray. For the most part, the Scriptures seem to assume the reader is already plugged into a prayer-tradition, and thus they tell us more about the importance of prayer rather than its mechanics.

There is one notable, exception, however, that gives us an important tip to vivify our prayer life. Let's look at this collection of passages on prayer and see what they hold in common (all verses from the RSVCE):

And he said to them, “Which of you who has a friend will go to him at midnight and say to him, ‘Friend, lend me three loaves; for a friend of mine has arrived on a journey, and I have nothing to set before him’; and he will answer from within, ‘Do not bother me; the door is now shut, and my children are with me in bed; I cannot get up and give you anything’? I tell you, though he will not get up and give him anything because he is his friend, yet because of his importunity he will rise and give him whatever he needs." (Luke 11:5-8).

“Ask, and it will be given you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For every one who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened." (Matt. 7:7-8)

And he told them a parable, to the effect that they ought always to pray and not lose heart. He said, “In a certain city there was a judge who neither feared God nor regarded man; and there was a widow in that city who kept coming to him and saying, ‘Vindicate me against my adversary.’ For a while he refused; but afterward he said to himself, ‘Though I neither fear God nor regard man, yet because this widow bothers me, I will vindicate her, or she will wear me out by her continual coming.’” And the Lord said, “Hear what the unrighteous judge says. And will not God vindicate his elect, who cry to him day and night?" (Luke 18:1-7)

"Watch and pray, that you may not enter into temptation" (Matt. 26:41).

"But watch at all times, praying that you may have strength..." (Luke 21:36)

 Rejoice in your hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. (Rom. 12:12)

Pray at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. To that end keep alert with all perseverance. (Eph. 6:18)

Continue steadfastly in prayer, being watchful in it with thanksgiving. (Col. 4:2)

Pray without ceasing. (1 Thess. 5:17)

Is any one among you suffering? Let him pray. Is any cheerful? Let him sing praise. Is any among you sick? Let him call for the elders of the church, and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord; and the prayer of faith will save the sick man, and the Lord will raise him up; and if he has committed sins, he will be forgiven. Therefore confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man has great power in its effects. Elijah was a man of like nature with ourselves and he prayed fervently that it might not rain, and for three years and six months it did not rain on the earth. Then he prayed again and the heaven gave rain, and the earth brought forth its fruit. (Jas. 5:13-18)

All these with one accord devoted themselves to prayer...And they devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and fellowship, to the breaking of bread and the prayers. (Acts 1:14; 2:42)

Seven times a day I praise thee for thy righteous ordinances. (Ps. 119:164)

Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before him. (Ps. 62:8)

The common thread throughout all these passages is the encouragement to perseverance. I think this is summed up best by the words of St. Luke, "He told them...that they ought always to pray and not lose heart" (18:1). The Scriptures tell us almost nothing about how to pray but spend a great deal of time telling us to be constant in the habit of prayer. This implies that consistency in prayer is far, far more important than what you are saying or how you are going about it. In fact, I would go so far as to say that consistency is the single most important variable in one's prayer life.

When someone complains about their prayer life to me, I always ask, "Do you pray often?" and they almost always say, "No." From a worldly perspective, this makes sense—why would you devote time to something that was difficult, unpleasant, and seemed to yield no immediate return? 

But we must remember that the economy of the Gospel is an inversion of the values of the world. The spiritual world is a place where weakness is strength, humility is power, suffering is exaltation, and the first is last. Here, grace is the currency of the kingdom and prayer is the work by which we access this currency. The way we function in the world does not help us in the spiritual realm.

Well...with one important exception. There is one earthly analogy we can make that gives us an appropriate framework for understanding the spiritual life, which is the one preferred by St. Paul in his epistles: athletic training. 

I wrote a lengthy piece on this subject for the blog of the Archdiocese of Miami a few months ago entitled "How Can Fitness and Nutrition Point Toward Faith?" It was written for a diocesan audience and heavily edited, so it is extremely milquetoast compared to my normal writing, but the fundamental points are sound. I recommend reading the entire piece, but here is the essence of the piece:

St. Paul was fond of comparing the Christian life to athletics: The spiritual life is a race where we must run to win God’s reward (cf. 1 Cor. 9:24); we discipline our bodies to mortify the passions, just as Olympic athletes train themselves (cf. 1 Cor. 9:27); like athletes, we train for a crown (cf. 2 Tim. 4:7-8); athletes must compete according to the rules, just as believers must follow God's laws (cf. 2 Tim. 2:5); as runners forget what is behind them to press on to the finish line, so we must leave the past behind to fulfill our calling in Christ (cf. Phil. 3:13-14). So frequently did Paul draw these comparisons that it’s no stretch to say fitness was his favorite analogy for the Christian life.

...St. Paul knew what he was doing when he invoked athletic imagery. He wasn't just looking for a vivid illustration; he was pointing to something structural about the spiritual life: The same qualities that build a strong body are the very qualities that build a strong soul. There is no life hack for either one. There is only the daily decision to show up and do the work.

Given that athletics was Paul's favorite analogy for the spiritual life, we would be remiss if we didn't consider the parallels. Why is athletic training so applicable to the economy of the kingdom?

You can read the article referenced above for all the specifics (and there are many), but I'd like to draw attention to one thing in particular: athletic training is unique in that the unpleasantness and difficulties we experience are themselves the mechanism for development. When you are bench pressing and your muscles fail and you can no longer lift the bar, that uncomfortable muscular strain you experience is the stimulus that causes muscular growth. When you are a runner and you run until you are winded, that pushing of your cardiovascular system to the limit is the mechanism that causes cardiovascular adaptations. The progress is in the struggle—not as an abstraction, but in a very structural, almost mechanical way. Any sort of physical conditioning requires you to experience degrees of discomfort because if you don't, it means you are not sufficiently pushing yourself to trigger the biological adaptations you are hoping to achieve.

Scripture doesn't draw this comparison for us in so many words—nowhere does Paul say "prayer is like training." But given how insistently he reaches for athletic imagery to describe the Christian life more broadly, I think the connection is fair to make. Our Lord tells us to persevere in prayer and Paul compares it to physical conditioning. This means that we need to stop seeing our difficulties as an inhibition to prayer and instead embrace them as part of our progress. When we complain that our prayer is not rewarding but we refuse to push through our difficulties, we are like a weight lifter who complains that he is not gaining muscle but also puts the weights down every time they start to feel heavy. How ridiculous! It's like we are expecting the payoff without the commitment. 

I think too often when we pray we are thinking about some future outcome, be it an intention we are praying about, or just the interior consolations we hope prayer will bring. In other words, we tend to think of prayer as a means to some other end. But prayer is the end; the things we get from prayer are nice bonuses, but the act of praying, of communing with God, that is the purpose of prayer. This is precisely why Scripture is so insistent that we are constant in the habit. This is why our holy father St. Benedict was so wise in prescribing his rule of prayer; he knew that, if nothing else, the consistency of the Divine Office would do its work on the soul, as inexorable as the repeated blows of a hammer upon hot iron.

The best diet is simply the one you stick to. The best workout routine is the one you are consistent at. Similarly, the best prayer life is simply that which is consistent. Consistency works wonders. Imagine if you stopped thinking about how you felt during prayer; stopped thinking about whether God hears your prayers; stopped worrying about whether they will be answered, whether you're in the right disposition, what type of prayer you were doing, whether your prayers were sincere enough, whether you even enjoy the act, whether your spiritual life is in order—just stopped thinking about all that nonsense and just prayed. What if you clung to prayer like a man adrift on the sea clinging to a piece of driftwood, not caring how rugged the wood is, or how ugly, or how sore your arms from hanging on, or whither you were going, or any other consideration, for so long as you cling to it, you live, and living is the goal. Treat praying itself as the goal. When you pray, you have arrived at your destination already. 

Commit to persevere in prayer. Regardless of your feelings. Turn to Him in prayer in silent moments. In busy moments. In recollected moments devoted to prayer, in bustling moments devoted to the necessities of life. It need not be much; just an ejaculatory phrase or a Pater Noster to start, but just create the habit. When you are starting off at the gym, the most important thing isn't what exercises you do or how good you are at them; the most important thing is simply that you show up. Will the fruits of prayer come? Yes, but they come later, as the yield of a harvest. The weight lifter is seldom thinking about anything in the moment beyond, "I have to get move this weight up"; the payoffs come much later.

I promise you, just make yourself pray and your prayer life will be vastly improved. Pray with the resolution of Jacob clinging to the angel, crying out, "I will not let go until you bless me" (cf. Gen. 32:26). This perseverance makes all the difference.

"After I arrived in Ireland, I tended sheep every day, and I prayed frequently during the day. More and more the love of God increased, and my sense of awe before God. Faith grew, and my spirit was moved, so that in one day I would pray up to one hundred times, and at night perhaps the same. I even remained in the woods and on the mountain, and I would rise to pray before dawn in snow and ice and rain. I never felt the worse for it, and I never felt lazy—as I realise now, the spirit was burning in me at that time." ~ St. Patrick, Confession